Old and new worries.

I may as well start using this blog, even if NaNo may be a no-no this year. It almost wiped me out and it took me over a month to even look at my writing again without feeling a gut sense of revulsion come over me. But maybe it was just first-time of 50,000 wording that took some getting used to.  I was proud of myself for all of a few hours before I just started to wish I’d never started The Words Between. But there it is. I have my plot for next year’s NaNo, if nothing else. I’m saving a piece that’s been on my mind for roughly 3 years until then.

I do know that it will be in diary form- something tells me that ordinary prose is never going to be my forté. That is my main worry with all this. I can come up with plot and idea and theme and yet my focus having been on poetry ever since I was tiny, I have no idea what constitutes good or great prose. I love books, I would live in my own private library if I could, but I can’t lock onto the secret of how to write well. Exposition, plot etc is not the issue. It’s the wordiness, description of the physical parts of the story… everything that would be picked up on before plot even came into play and makes a novel either readable or trash-can fodder.

There. Mumbling worrisome stuff ranted.

Supposed to be generating notes and plot order for Script Frenzy. Not sure now if I will be doing it or not, given that I will be doing very boring job-stuff from 23rd March. Yuck. Damn reality trying to drive me insane. Most annoying. Would prefer to stay in my dream worlds forever and live with my characters through all their ups and downs which are FAR more interesting than mine.

The physical world is not my friend.

Natural oppressor.

Is it wrong that I come up with the way my main characters die before I get the rest of the plot done? Or that I had it in mind that at least one of the five characters had to be deceased by the end of the book? It’s a common plot-point, in many many hundreds/thousands of books, I know, and people die in literature all the time: But to enter into a plot with the determination to kill off a character right from the start?

Oppression is in the author’s nature. It depends on how far you go… how they die, how many people die and are all those deaths necessary? Well, with the characters in question, at least one of them really is. My poor boy just wasn’t looking after himself, and even this modern world can’t beat the sickness caused by obsessive behaviour and reclusiveness!

Playing the bad guy when writing is only fun when the characters get to counteract it at the end. This time they don’t and though I’m not one for writing schmaltzy endings, this one would be better for me personally if it had a happy finale. But we sacrifice our wish for what needs to be written.

In other news, I am reading again! I can’t put down the His Dark Materials books at the moment. ^.^;;

Honour the glorious poets. Their shades that left us are now returned.

Lobster Lullabies and napkins.

Influence? Watch Stephen Fry either performing acapella as a musical instrument on Nevermind The Buzzcocks, or putting lobsters to sleep (rubbing their backs and singing a lullaby O.o) in Stephen Fry in America. Random at the least and disturbing at the utmost.

Itching to get November 1st over and done with. I can’t do anything more to my NaNo planning and I want to get typing! But while I can’t start my NaNo, my poetry has hit a wall, as well. I can’t get on with it!